How to prioritize yourself as a wife.

It’s about to get hot! So get comfortable, pull your hair back, grab a wine, cross your leg and let’s talk. 

One of my greatest honors in life is being a wife. Not just a wife but a wife to the best husband. Don’t get me wrong I love my son. But, my husband comes first. As a wife, you must put your husband first before your kids. Yes, I said you must put your husband first before your kids. Your kids are a product of the love shared between you and him. Without your husband, there will be no kids. Also remember your husband is your first love and then comes your kids. When you put your husband first, your children learn what true love should be like. It also keeps the love and bond shared together alive and ignited. That’s a different topic for another post. But today, we are focused on ourselves because we are the price here.

Before we get into this, as a wife and a mother I know how difficult it can be to prioritize myself. But, I do it anyway because my needs are important too. Before any titles added unto my name, I am a woman before anything. So, I must learn to take care of me.

During the stages of courting, I always kept it modest. I loved makeup, massages, looking my best, and getting my beauty treatment. You know, I carried myself with grace. When we got married, I had no intentions to change that and my husband loves it. I was ready to break that stigma that portrays self-loss when affiliated with married women with kids. Who made the rule that being a wife equated to self-loss? I understand that it is easier for women to lose themselves when they get into marriage. No matter how assertive, or successful a woman is we are natural born givers. We give up so much of ourselves, social life, body, values, and beliefs to our husband and children because we love them. But have you thought about your own happiness?

Before your husband approached you, he admired your looks. Men are naturally attracted to what they see. The first thing that caught your hubby’s eyes before anything else was your looks. So, why would you want to let go of that spark that convinced him that you were worth getting to know?

Some women end up developing self-hate because they have no idea on how to return to the things they love or interests they had prior to marriage. Why wait till you find yourself in this dilemma? When you could have made a conscious effort from the beginning. To the wives with more than one kids, do not make your kids an excuse as to why you failed to prioritize yourself. But perhaps, times have changed and as millennial wives, we come into marriage with self-worth, power, passion, purpose, ambition, love, partnership and God.  

One of the main reason why people deviate from marriage is boredom. Boredom in your looks, boredom in bed, and boredom all rounded. A wife should learn to be all round spontaneous. As a couple, be willing to give each other more to look forward to. It’s true that when you get so familiar with your partner, the butterflies can seem to fade away gradually. Don’t get me wrong the love still remains but as you introduce children to the equation, shared responsibilities, accrued debts etc. It becomes tough to keep these feelings ignited. Nonetheless, both parties need to learn how to spice things up. In a marriage where the wife is romantic, and the husband isn’t. As a wife, take the lead in planning while your husband pays. The hope is that he also learns to treat you to a romantic scenery. There is nothing wrong in doing this and do not make societal norm dictate for you how to spice up your marriage.

Do not stop reading, we are getting deeper. Grab more wine if you need too. The upgrade you get from being a wife is meant to be upscale. Unmarried women should not have the audacity to compete with you. Your presence as a wife should command respect.  So, I ask you what happened to your needs when you became a wife?

What does it mean to prioritize yourself?

In a simple explanation, prioritizing yourself means putting yourself on the same list of importance as you do with everyone else. In regards to a being a wife, your family is your most important priority. That is absolutely necessary and beautiful. However, you must note that your family looks up to you and they take note of how you treat yourself. Outside of cooking meals, and being the best at interior decors. Give your husband, your children, and yourself multiple reasons to be proud of you. Marriage should not be the reason you forget yourself. Why should you neglect the interests you have, the visions you see, and the hobbies you love all because of marriage? Getting married should rather inspire you to be all around sophisticated than you were prior to marriage. My husband continues to support me to explore more about myself. He has inspired me to be the woman I am today. He is not envious of my accomplishments because he has a mindset of if I win, he wins. Getting married to him is the best thing that has happened to my being and I thank God for him everyday.

How to prioritize yourself as a wife and why? 

1. Self-care: If you follow me on Instagram. Self-care is my favorite concentration to talk about. As a wife, you have to learn to give yourself the same priority card as you give your husband and kids. You should practice what I call having a selfish time away from wifely responsibilities. Getting married should never be an excuse for you to give up things you enjoy doing. Learn to create hobbies that do not require your husband’s involvement. Doing things on your own will help you stay connected to yourself and cultivate a sense of self. I will write a blog on self-care because self-care is a topic on its own. But in the meantime, here are some examples of things I indulge in for self-care as a wife : Get dolled up, work out and diet, go on a shopping spree, book a spa date, exfoliate my face, manicure and pedicure, switch up my closet, get on a path to personal development, book wifely trips with my fellow wife friends, and set boundaries. 

Halotheraphy (Salt therapy) is a form of self care I have also attempted and I absolutely enjoyed it.

2. Get something doing for yourself: Thankfully, we are in a generation where women are allowed to have almost the same opportunities as men. This should make you aspire to have something going on for you. You can be a stay home mom who works from home. The goal is to get your hand on something that can generate income outside of your husband’s wealth. Your husband should not be the only provider in your household. Actually, when you have a source of income, you earn more respect from your husband. He will love and adore you more because you are his support. No matter how little, it goes a long way. While you are at it, save ladies. You need to learn to save because there will come a time when things will become tough. As a support to your husband, you should be able to say “I got it babe, don’t worry about it.” I do this a lot, and my husband loves it so much because it makes him proud. As a wife, It also gives me a sense of self-worth and contentment.  

3. Invest: Have another source of revenue. Research on how to invest in stocks, forex, real estate, and businesses. You are a wife, and a boss so act like one. Generate assets and not liabilities, think ahead for the raining days for your self and family. A wife is the pillar of her home. My husband calls me the pillar of our home because I am there to hold it all together so we don’t fall. I provide support when the need be. I am the extra eyes wandering looking for holes to secure. So nothing can bring my home crashing by God’s grace.

4. Spend on yourself: It is absolutely important to meet your financial obligation and prioritize family needs but a wife needs things too. Spending on yourself lifts your spirit and it makes you feel better and happier. It is also a way of rewarding yourself for all the hard work you invest into your home. It is a healthy thing to do because it boosts your confidence. Take for example, when you buy a new wig, or get fresh acrylics you feel really happy right ? Yes, just as you should because you are worth it. So take some money out for yourself when planning for your families need and do not feel guilty doing so. Lest I forget, hubby gets to compliment you too. Who wouldn’t want that?

5.  Dress Sexy: No for real, be a sexy wife. I cannot stress this enough. A wife is not suppose to be boring. Dress sexy for you, and then for your husband. When you look your best, you feel great. Get rid of that large grandma panties that do not highlight your assets. We do not bring that into marriage. Reserve that for special times of the month or if you are a new mom because you’d need it for the necessities. Buy lingerie, crop tops, booty shorts, and sexy panties Etc. These are what you should wear around the house. Prior to when you got married, I am sure you enjoyed putting on sexy outfits. Gone are the day when wives wore baggy dresses or yoga pants with lose t-shirts. For wives with toddlers, or grown up kids. You can try tight yoga pants that highlight your cakes. Give that man a lounge view and trust me, even though you are doing this for your husband, you will feel so confident in yourself. Be sure to take that sexiness outside with you when you dress up on a date with hubby. Wear something a little revealing but yet classy. A sexy wife, is a happy wife.

Yes, I’m a wife and I am allowed to look my best.

 6. Initiate sex : Sex is important in a marriage. Couples should have regular sex. I know it can get hard with kids but it is required to make out time for sexual intimacy. Wives need sex as much as hubby’s do and this makes it a priority of yours too. The increase in Libido is needed in marriage. Don’t be shy to send a naughty text to your hubby. If you don’t who will ? Send him that provocative text, dress nasty for him with candles on, sexual music playing in the background, rose pedals, role play, and take the lead. Doing these, will make him feel wanted, it lets him know you want him and you desire him. But leave him to chase you.

7. Give your husband space: Even while you want to get sexy, and intimate with hubby. Another rule of thumb is to give your husband space. I know that you are married, and living in the same house. He is your best friend and I get it. But you don’t want your husband feeling choked. A wife needs to learn how to prioritize and embrace her individuality. Being too clingy to your husband can cause you to lose your identity and you do not want to get there because losing your identity can create hopelessness, worthlessness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. So, give him space to do what he enjoys and go watch a movie, call a friend, get innovative or whatever works best for you.

8. Maintain your body & eat clean: This is a tough one that requires hard work and commitment. I am all for wives embracing their postpartum bodies, stretch marks, weight gain and all. But if you think about it, maintaining your body and eating clean boosts your energy levels and keeps your system running smoothly. If you are like me, every time I work out my stress level is low and my energy level is high. Maintaining your body also boosts your confidence whether you are in the house half naked or fully dressed on a date.

9. Make sleep a priority: The most easiest and simplest thing to do. But yet, we neglect it. Make a commitment to get enough sleep when you can. If you are a wife with kids, have hubby watch the kids sometimes while you go get some sleep. I am a firm believer that having an adequate sleep aids in productivity, mentally sharp minds, a young, and vibrant skin.

10. Do not compare yourself: Comparing and competing with other wives will hinder you from experiencing happiness and joy within yourself. It can lead to inaccurate assumptions of the other parties’ qualities. Remember, the aim is to focus on yourself and not others. What is green on the other side is only greener because it was watered continuously. Work and focus on yourself.

11. Prayer: Prayer is the key to everything it is an essential priority. It takes strength to balance roles as a woman and also prioritize yourself. You need to ask God for the strength and grace in everything you set your mind to. Lack of prayer and strength from God to venture into anything , would lead to loss in enthusiasm. Additionally, as a wife I urge you to be in constant prayer for the things of your heart and also for your family. Not everyone is happy for you and your home. So, do not stop praying.

Wives, remember that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself because it is the foundation of any other relationship. So, it makes sense to prioritize and nurture it. You are a woman, a wife, and a queen to his kingdom. The way you prioritize yourself also reflects on your husband. When you see me, you see my husband and vice versa.

Getting married should inspire you to be more sophisticated than you were prior to marriage. 
– Vera Yanney.

Thank you for reading my blog and I will see you beautiful women on my next post. Be safe, and gentle on yourself and remember to prioritize yourself as a wife.

Don’t forget to like this content, share, comment, leave suggestions on topics you would like to see, and follow my blog.


Published by VeraYanney

Vera Yanney, is a wife and a mother who believes that women often times struggle with balancing these roles (Womanhood, Wife-hood, & Motherhood). Her blog Mom Rapport, empowers a healthy balance between feminine roles and also supports Millennial moms, doing the best that they can. Not forgetting that we are women first.

14 thoughts on “How to prioritize yourself as a wife.

  1. Great Post & very informative article Vera, I am sure lots of men would have liked it if they read. I am also a Husband of my beautiful wife who cares for me the same way.
    I would recommend this article to every young couple who recently married or getting married soon should take advantage of these helpful tips. “God Bless You”


    1. Thank you so much for reading this post. Every man definitely needs to acquire some knowledge on this too. If you could be nice to share with the men you are connect too. So they aren’t missing out. I will love to have you back for more interesting and informative contents. Posts are published on Saturday @12pm God bless you too .


  2. Thank you for this wonderful post!! I am not married yet, but I feel married to my boyfriend lol. We just got a house together and I already feel so much more in partnership with him!! Because we got this house I decided to take a second job full time at amazon !! When I did that it was big step for me, an empowering one, but his response was everything to me. He was in fact proud of me! All in all there is so much to be excited about in our life and I am just thankful for getting to spend these moments with him here and now and look forward to the day I get to take his last name as my own!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, of course and thank you for taking time out to read. It’s a big step when you decide to live together with your partner and you seem to be loving it. Kudos to him for also being a source of strength and support . Also, congrats on your full time job in amazon. While practicing partnership with your boyfriend also remember to prioritize yourself . At times , we tend to forget because we are too caught up in giving so much and doing so much for the people we love. Thanks again for tuning in , and I hope to see you next time ❤️😄.


  3. Mrs yanney. God bless you. As a man I never knew I could read all,I really took my time to go through it. And for shedding more light on selfcare, invest, getting something doing, giving your husband space and initiate sex in marriage. you did a great job to writeup something like this for the MOMs out there and moms to be. I enjoyed reading it. I hope your next content will be more super than this. Seriously it’s getting fun and knowledgeable. Smiles and my wife is reading all these tonight. You spewed some point I would like her to know about and soon she’ll join the blog. Stay safe Mrs yanney

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Tunde for taking the time out to read it even as a man. I am very glad that you enjoyed the contents and was in tune with some of the points being made. Yes, please do so to refer wifey to MomRapport. We need her 😄. Next post will be published next week Saturday stay tuned. Thank you for tuning in again.


  4. This is the best thing I have read since giving birth and getting married.Am not going to lie I have hit some rocky times here and there especially after giving birth but am here to say it is all about to change.thank you so much for writing thing and I enjoyed reading it now time to go practice everything I have read so I can be a better me for my family ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First and foremost Linda, Thank you for tuning in to my blog / post. I applaud you for taking the initiative to put into practice the knowledge you have acquired from this post. You are a great wife and mother and your family is very blessed to have you. Be sure to follow my blog, share the contents to fellow women , wives, & Mother . I Would love to have you back on here ☺️. Posts gets published every Saturday @12pm


  5. Oh my Goodness , this was amazing !!!! I enjoyed reading this so much the flow, everything was beautifully said . I’m so proud of you for putting this together, you did fantastic keep up the great Work Mrs Yanney.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Mrs Hassan, I appreciate the compliment. I am elated to know that you enjoyed reading this because I took my time to put this together. Thanks again be sure to tune in next Saturday ❤️


  6. Beautiful post for wives, you were very spot on and I love how you talked about initiating sex. I think because sex is a topic usually frowned upon when it comes to women it’s hard sometimes for wives to sexually explore in marriage. I view it as I have the right to do whatever I want with the man of my dreams which is my husband and it’s actually excited. It’s not a sin in marriage actually sex is celebrated in marriage it was meant for marriage. So just like this blog says it’s great to initiate sex in marriage. Great content sis.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Mrs Golay for tuning in to today’s post. I appreciate you !!!! Adding to what you said, yes every wife should learn to practice initiating sex. Our husbands love it 😍 and the Bible definitely does not frown on sex between married couples. Stay tuned for next weekend’s post @12pm


  7. This is super inspiring🥰thank you for shedding light on the most crucial points. As a soon to be wife, this content clarified a whole lot and has helped me prepare for the life ahead. Thank you once again Vera and i am looking forward to the next content. Cheers‼️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks babe for tuning in. I am very happy that you absorbed a lot from this post. I assure you that you would make a happy home and such a beautiful wife in a few months. Stay tuned for next weekends content . Stay safe ❤️


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