Ladies, today we will be focused on ourselves. As always, I want you to get in your most comfortable setting because today’s blog post needs your undivided attention. All set, let’s get into it.
Have you ever been in a place in your life when you set goals with hopes that you’d attain them in your first try? It’s very common for us to presume that things would work on the first try but oftentimes they don’t. We’ve all been there haven’t we? Let’s face it failure and setbacks do not feel great but the truth is, they are part of the journey and they foster the bigger result.
Define Positive Self Talk.
Positive self talk is the inner voice of encouragement and affirmation that you give to yourself before any other external reassurance and plaudit is rendered unto you. They are messages that are short and focused directly on you.
Although, as humans we are very fast to dash out encouraging words to our friends but when we are faced with challenges of our own. The inner dialogue is often different.
To others we say,
“I believe in you, you got this, you are so smart, your weight looks good.”
To ourselves we say,
“I put on so much weight, why am I not as good of a mom as she is?, she is more good looking than I am.”
Suddenly, we lose compassion for our own selves. I understand that it can be difficult at times to pick yourself up from the dust especially when you have been faced with a lot of challenges. But learning to be kind to yourself is work worth doing.
For me personally, I have never really been one to depend on external sources for motivation. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to hear someone tell me how proud they are of me. But, that is not paramount to how much success and achievements that I am willing to attain. In fact, self-talk has done more for my self confidence, achievements, mental health and so on.
Let me share a story. Prior to when I became a University graduate, I had written down on my planner my goals for the month. One of which was to secure a job prior to graduation. I knew that was going to happen for me. Will you term this overconfidence or faith? I call it the power of positive self-talk because saying is believing. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know what I bring to the table. Long story short, I went in for my first interview and mind you, there were three interviews lined up in order for me to secure my position at this job. After my first interview, I became even more certain that I was going to get that job. And Oh yes, I sure did. I shared my story because I was getting to a point.
Before I get to the point why I shared my story, I beg to digress. There is positive and negative self talk. Depending on your personality, an optimist is more likely to use positive self talk, while a pessimist will lean on negative self talk. Regardless of what aspect you fall in, you have the power to practice positive self talk.
Importance of Positive Self Talk
I shared my story with you all because I want you to understand that there is power in your tongue and your thoughts. Positive self talk is important because it enhances your confidence, productivity, self esteem, mental health, and you can add to the list. My pattern of positive self-talk started at a very young age. However, anytime can be a good time to start practicing it.
The words that you speak to yourself will determine if you should keep trying or give in to adversities. The thoughts that you process internally can either make or break you.
How to Practice Positive Self Talk
- Talk to the mirror: Does this sound weird? It’s more like singing in the shower. Talking to the mirror boosts your confidence level, it reduces the feeling of hopelessness, it reduces pain and stress from the heart and body, it reflects you and gives you a sense of satisfaction. This is one of my favorite tips for positive self talk.
- Journal writing: Journal writing aids in keeping track of thoughts that might be swirling around in your head for example, thought of fear, self doubt etc. Journaling is one of the easiest ways to keep track of your thoughts. All you have to do is get a brand new journal and write down everything that comes to mind. There are no set rules as to how much you should write. Although, I advise that you put a date on the day you are journaling this helps to keep track of how far you have come in your journey. After writing down your thoughts, I want you to come up with ways that you can replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
- Don’t compare yourself to others: Comparison, is the killer of joy. Women in particular, are very fond of comparing themselves with one another. When you are constantly comparing yourself with the next party. You are very likely to get down on yourself. I had an epiphany years ago, where I learned truly that the grass on the other side is only greener because it was watered continuously. If you admire what someone has, it is okay to compliment, and ask questions but most importantly it is best that you concentrate on yourself and be grateful for how far you have come. At the end of the day, no one is perfect.
- Have apps for positive affirmations: There are tons of positive affirmation apps. I believe everyone should have at least two positive affirmation apps downloaded on their phones. Positive affirmation apps work because they serve as a buffer between negative thoughts and rather give you inspiration, motivation, and confidence building to focus on. Give these apps a try if you want some positivity in your daily life: Think up, Shine, Calm, Hapify, Kwippy.
- Don’t play the blame game: Blaming is a natural human tendency. We are human and blaming is used as a form of defense mechanism to discharge our pain. Are you a perpetual blamer? I want you to know that blaming is very toxic because it has an inverse relationship with accountability. When we fail to hold ourselves accountable for our faults, we miss out on opening doors to changes that can potentially get us to our success.
- Visualize your success: Visualizing your success oh yes! I love this one too. This gives you a direction, reminds you of an idea you have, and gives you a boost to keep going and never give up. Start speaking life to what tasks and goals you aspire to attain by saying, “My future is bright,” “Though it may tarry, but it will surely become a reality,” “I believe so much in my abilities even when no one else see’s it.” “I am victorious and a conqueror.” And you can add to the list.
- Be willing to try again: As the popular saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Have you ever wondered why success starts with failure? In my opinion, failure is a catalyst to success. Without failure, we lack the ardor to re- strategize and come back stronger. You shouldn’t give up on your goal just because it didn’t work out on the first try but that should rather bring alive avidity to ‘Bounce back’ and rise above your obstacles.
Failure is not a sign of personal ineptitude, but rather a foundation that winning is built on- Vera Yanney
- Check in with your feelings: When you start to catch yourself going down the road of negative talks, I want you to take a break to breathe in and out for a couple of minutes. If you do not feel better after this exercise, you might need to talk to a therapist.
- Pray: Prayer is the master key to everything. Did you know that prayer is a form of positive self talk? When you pray earnestly to God, you tell yourself that he has heard your prayers and that you are victorious. Psalm 42:12 says “Why are you downcast, my soul, why do you groan within me? Wait for God, for I shall again praise him my savior and my God.” I want you to say this prayer “Dear Lord, I am going through a tough time right now, I want you to reassure me that I am not alone, and that you will give me strength and guidance. I also ask that you see me through the end. AMEN!
As always, see you beauties on my next blog post. Be sure to share, like, comment, and leave suggestions on topics you’d be interested in. Remember to stay kind, and gentle to yourself.
See you soon !!! 🙂