Your Happiness SHOULD NOT Depend on Your Spouse.

This blog post for wifeys has been a long time coming. I sincerely apologize but let’s get right into this.

Ultimately, marriage is a wonderful union and there are a ton of support and blessings that originate from being hitched to the right individual. Emphasis on “Right individual.”

Having a wonderful individual as a spouse causes you to advance and evolve in a lot of ways. He rouses you to accept new open doors, he turns into a main thrust of motivation when you are in need of a little motivation, he favors your womb with a piece of him to deliver your beautiful offsprings, he turns into your most genuine closest companion, and the list goes on.

Through all of this superb support, he serves you. It becomes very inconvenient when your better half turns into your lone wellspring of bliss. In romantic theory, your spouse is the adoration for your life and all things considered, you can’t envision your existence without him. I can say the same for me as well, God blessed me with an incredible spouse.

While these are valid, to build a healthy and sound relationship in marriage. It is so essential to ensure that you and your spouse each keep up a sense of independence by having different sources of happiness outside of your marriage.

Anticipating that your happiness should hail from your spouse is externalizing him. In a sense, your spouse turns into an object for your satisfaction and without him, you can’t display pleasurable feelings of joy.

No lady should put a huge amount of weight on her spouse to entirely deliver happiness to her- Vera Yanney

Prior to becoming a wife, you were a woman who knew how to have fun before you met your life partner. Marriage is a relationship between two individuals and one individual (your significant other) shouldn’t feel forced to maintain a ton of duties.

Men are systematically educated to push their sentiments down without communicating their feelings. They are taught that the perfect ideal of manliness is to stay solid and quiet. These are all myths by the way and can lead to mental health difficulties in men. And I say this to say.

Envision being in your significant other’s shoes, we realize that being the head of the family brings about a ton of obligations. Your spouse is human with feelings, desires, expectations, dreams, and even personal battles. So you can concur with me when I say that it is unfair for a woman/wife to search for happiness only in her husband.

Path to Reclaim Your Happiness.

1. Start looking for happiness within you– The way to happiness exists in us. It isn’t the obligation of a person to fulfill your necessities as they are likely additionally experiencing a great deal themselves.

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously– One of the negative traits of being a grown-up is the dread of being mocked. Everything begins by letting desires decide how we live. Normally ladies are relied upon to be perfect. While men live under the weight of not being seen as frail. Life is certainly not a smooth ride, you will run over a lot of curves. Be that as it may, I impel you to discover humor in every circumstance.

3. Get comfortable with being on your own– Being alone by yourself, oftentimes implies isolation or one being anti-social according to societal beliefs. However, with spending alone time you might have the option to settle on better options and choices about what your identity is and what you need without outside impact.

Frequently, we are influenced by the contemplations, sentiments, mentalities, convictions, and conduct of those in our circle. It is okay to approach others for their recommendation and assessments. But, at the end of the day, counseling yourself and making up your psyche about what you need to do will lead you into the existence that is best for you. This is what being introspective brings about. 

4. Have friends outside your marriage– Being friends with your spouse is a blessing and benefits you both. Your spouse, however, assumes plenty of roles: husband, companion, friend, comforter, and you can add to the list. That being said, he basically can’t be everything for you. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you need to do everything with your spouse. A little separation is healthy. 

As a companion, I urge you to drop the “be my source of happiness” mindset, since it’s simply unrealistic. You can’t anticipate that your spouse should satisfy the entirety of your needs because they won’t all the time. Rather, have an end goal to satisfy your spouse’s needs. And be sure to give them credit for all that he does to make you happy.

God is the only one who can complete us, and no human can do that job. As a couple, your role in marriage should be centered around helping each other grow just as Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.


As always, see you beauties on my next blog post. New content gets published on Saturdays at 12pm. Please follow MomRapport to stay updated with my latest blog posts. Don’t forget to share, like, comment, and leave suggestions on topics you’d be interested in. Remember to stay kind, and gentle to yourself.

See you soon and Stay Safe !!! 🙂

Published by VeraYanney

Vera Yanney, is a wife and a mother who believes that women often times struggle with balancing these roles (Womanhood, Wife-hood, & Motherhood). Her blog Mom Rapport, empowers a healthy balance between feminine roles and also supports Millennial moms, doing the best that they can. Not forgetting that we are women first.

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